With the holiday shopping season upon us, TNIAAM presents a handy gift guide for fans of departing Big East schools such as us who will risk life and limb this winter by attending away games against those extremely pissed-off schools/fans that remain in the Big East conference.
Each item will help you either blend-in, or protect yourself effectively from the inevitable invective, dirty looks and objects hurled your way by individuals who desperately want to be in your shoes. Enjoy!
Men's short-sleve tab-collar clergy shirt - Black ($42.00)
Where to wear: Villanova, Seton Hall, Marquette, Providence
Just as those "secular types" would never hit a man with glasses, no true fan of a Catholic school would dare harm you in this black 100% Egyptian cotton shirt with included clergy collar. (Warning: disguise will backfire horribly if you hold hands with your wife/significant other, and Dads of school-age boys, heaven truly help you if you so much as touch your son!)
Military Grade Kevlar Vest ($350) and Ralph Lauren Cashmere Cardigan ($750)
Where to wear: UConn
Having been left at the alter yet again by John Swofford, you're going to need maximum protection in Connecticut this winter. Keeping that in mind, strut safely and smugly in Storrs in an ensemble combining protection that says "Green Zone!" with that d@#chey look that screams "Green-wich!"
Joe Biden Mask ($15.00) and Secret Service Black Suit ($150.00) with Ear Piece ($10.00)
Where to Wear: Georgetown
Since there isn't a human-sized p#nis costume available on Amazon or eBay at present, the next best way to blend in among Georgetown fans is by just being crazy..."Crazy Old Joe" that is!
Wear your Syracuse orange...hell wear 2-day-old underwear on your head...with Joe, the DC crowd has seen it all before! Put the finishing touches on this ensemble piece by dressing three or more or more friends like secret service agents. Have women in your group? No worries! Dress them up like Colombian escorts and you'll be the life of BOTH parties!!!
"FUC UCF" Men's T-Shirt ($15.00)
Where to Wear: South Florida
On the whole, those USF guys are a pretty reasonable bunch. As such, you are probably a lot safer wearing your SU gear at the Sun Dome than perhaps anywhere else this season. But if you are looking to go from annoying visitor to "instant bromance", wear this simple little number along with your 'Cuse ensemble and show your mutual disdain for the one school hated more by USF fans than any other...The University of Central Florida. Trust me, you wear this, you will only be pelted... with love... from your new friends from Tampa!
Syracuse Basketball Mens T-Shirt ($18.00)
Where to Wear: St. John's
When visiting MSG to take on The Johnnies, nothing says "I'm with the home team" quite like this 100% cotton short sleeve tee from Russell Athletic.
Happy shopping, stay safe, and Go Orange!