FanPost

Tiger Trouble (Part II to a 2-part series)

Part I can be found a little bit below in the Fanshots. My internet's running too slow for me/I'm too lazy to try and link it.

Well, thanks to the perfect storm of events this past week, Part 2 of "Tiger Trouble" is even better for Syracuse's week of conveniently named Tiger opponents and use of EDSBS memes that I like to completely run to the ground. Viewer discretion is advised for this one because two of the characters are potty mouths.

The Princeton Tiger is on "On the Block with Brent Axe" in preparation for his matchup against Syracuse on Wednesday night.

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Brent: So, Princeton Tiger, I see you've been a very busy man as of late.

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Princeton Tiger: Oh yeah, my private jet's getting a lot of use these past few days. I went to the NCAA Field Hockey championships to see us win the national title. I mean, Otto seemed to look a bit depressed but I guess he went to somewhere in Missouri and all was fine with him from what he told me. Then I came up here for the game of course because I wanted to spend Thanksgiving at my house in the Adirondacks and this seemed to be a nice pit stop before then. Oh, and I know this station's signal goes down to Ithaca, so how do you Cornell guys enjoy us beating you in hockey a few weeks ago? Thought so, you safety schoolers. So yeah, good to be here for something besides lacrosse for once I guess.

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Brent: Now you and the other New Jersey mascots have teamed up to help out with Superstorm Sandy relief efforts, can you explain how that works?

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Princeton Tiger: Surely, we figured with my financial baking, oh and I guess the Seton Hall Pirate's plundering of gold, which ended up being a good investment for him after the economic downturn, and the RU Scarlet Knight's public image and getting the Monmouth Hawk to supply one of his buildings for a benefit concert with Bruce Springsteen and Bon Jovi we could really hit a home run for providing re...

/"Eye of the Tiger" blasts out on Princeton Tiger's phone

One second, I gotta take a call. Hello?

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8-Ball: YO PRINCE!! PRINCE!! WHAT'S UP?!?!

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Princeton Tiger: Oh for f***'s sakes.

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8-Ball: YO I'M REALLY BUGGING OUT MAN!! LISTEN I KNOW YOU HAVE TWO THINGS... LOTS OF MONEY AND A GAME AGAINST SYRACUSE AM I RITE?!?! RIGHT?!?! OKAY WELL I GOT THIS JOB FOR BLACK FRIDAY BUT YOU SEE I GOT THIS DRUG TEST I GOT TO PASS

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Princeton Tiger: No.

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8-Ball: OH COME ON PRINCE YOU'RE MY FAVORITE COUSIN I NEED YOU EITHER TO BUY ME OUT OF THIS DRUG TEST AND OR GET OTTO TO GIVE ME SOME JUICE AND I DON'T MEAN DRUGS I MEAN ORANGE JUICE STUFF TO HELP ME PASS THIS!! LISTEN PRINCE I COULD BE FACING HARD TIMES AND I DON'T MEAN JAIL I MEAN MARYLAND'S LEAVING FOR THE BIG TEN AND I NEED TO BE ALL CLEAN IF I EVER WANT TO GET INTO THE BIG XII IF EVERYTHING GOES DOWNHILL IN THE ACC I'M TOTALLY BUGGING OUT DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?!?!!

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Princeton Tiger: For the love of Albert Einstein, James Madison, and not Jason Garrett or Bob Bradley, I gave you money a few months ago for something.

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8-Ball: YEAH MAN THAT PAID ME OFF FOR SOME DEBTS WITH MY DEALER BUT COME ON MAN I ALWAYS ENJOYED GOING TO YOUR PLACE IN THE HAMPTONS EVERY SUMMER CAN YOU PLEASE INVITE ME TO THE IVY LEAGUE IF THIS ACC S*** FALLS DOWN THE DRAIN PLEASE I JUST WANT TO GET OUT ANYWAY I CAN AND...

/Otto the Orange storms into the room

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Otto: Hey guys! Hey 8-Ball we need you to stay in the ACC so we can be in a stable conference and all so, umm can you stay pretty please with a cherry on top?!?

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8-Ball: MAN I DON'T KNOW I'M SO TRIPPING RIGHT NOW CAN YOU GIVE ME SOME ORANGE STUFF FOR MY DRUG TEST AND THEN I'LL CONSIDER THAT'S A REAL GOOD BARGAIN IN MY BIZ IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!!!!

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Otto: Hmm, Okay! The Princeton Tiger and I would also want you to have a lacrosse team so we can get back up to 6 teams too and he can have an easy non-conference win! Come on, lacrosse is fun!

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Princeton Tiger: I don't think Johns Hopkins would like me swapping a game with them for this coke addic...

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8-BALL: OH WHAT THAT SILLY HOCKEYSOCCERBASKETCRADLEBALL STUFF MY COUSIN LIKES?!? HMM I DON'T KNOW IF THAT'S REALLY VALUABLE FOR MY DRUG PAYMENTS I'LL GET BACK TO YOU GUYS LATER PEACE!!!!!

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Brent: ......Well then, let's turn our focus on tonight's game.

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Otto: Can we make it a lacrosse game?!? I love lacrosse games against my Princetonian friend here!

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Princeton Tiger: Actually yeah, can we change this from basketball to lacrosse?

By the end of this segment, Princeton had joined Harvard, Penn, and Yale in the ACC, Clemson left for the Big XII and took Florida State with them, Syracuse somehow convinced the rest of the ACC to stay, Jim Delany felt Rutgers was too silly of a move and sent them back to the Big East, and Georgetown sat in a corner crying. Happy Thanksgiving to all and to all a good night.

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