The Drought is over. The wait nears its end. Cuse football. Cuse basketball. The time honored tradition of the hike up to the Dome, praying to the college ball gods for victory. Getting your Dome foams and nachos grande fix. Wearing your favorite orange SU gear. And for me, the comforting weight of a hip flask of liquid fandom secured on my person, secreted into the Dome.
Years ago, in a far-off time that seems like millennia now, I swilled beer. A lot of beer. Like I was going to be able to stockpile it in my gut for a rainy day or something, Drinking a case of JW Dundee's Honey Brown lager was a standard issue weekend in the late 90s. Then, the change happened. My stomach rebelled. Years of abuse (ie college) had turned my stomach lining into a seething mass of dissent again the sweet sweet hops and barley. I was waking up every night with really bad reflux, chumming Tums and Rolaids and living on Famatodine. The "oh my god my esophogus is being burned from the inside out" type of reflux was cause for concern. After mixing and matching with drinks and diet, I came to the conclusion I had always feared, the beer was causing the problems I was having. So, from that day on, I became the "wine and liquor guy". Little did I know it was going to cause an inherent problem with what I should be drinking at the Dome. So, I decided to flaunt the rules and take my buzz into my own hands.
I need to put this up front, as a legal disclaimer. Its against Carrier Dome rules to bring in outside food or beverages, unless you can convince a doctor that scotch is necessary to be life sustaining. Like Bender.
Food or beverages (with exceptions noted below)
Just so you know, there it is. I take no responsibility in the worst case scenario that they confiscate your sweet sweet booze, or you are ejected from the stands for being a horrible person who doesnt want to pay 6 dollars for a beer.
Smuggling Your Goods
How easy this is actually depends on how cold it is outside. Large, bulky outerwear is the smugglers best friend. In the cold winter months, its easy to hide something in a big coat's inner pocket. Thats your go to option from November to February. In the warmer months, of which there are luckily few during the football and basketball season, try one of these options:
As a woman, you can hide it at the bottom of a purse or bag in a hidden compartment or cover it with a dark cloth so its disguised down there. Or, if you're feeling adventurous....check out the men's option.
If you're a man, one of the best places I've found is tucked right in the front or back of your pant's waistline before you get to the front door, cinch that belt up nice and tight, and untuck that shirt to disguise any bulk. Give yourself a bit of a hunch so the front drapes over it. Seriously, untuck that shirt anyways, its a Cuse game, not your grandmothers wake,
And some advice from StealthTurkey, we can also recommend the use of The Decoy. This bit of obfuscation goes like this: Have a nearly empty water or soda bottle in your hand on the way in. As the security person stops you to tell you can't bring in any outside food or bevvies, feign ignorance, and comply with their request politely, and they wave you on with your precious cargo secured on your person, unbeknownst to them.
There are some inherent dangers in anything thats against the rules, so here some ways to combat the most common problems with "flaskin it" in the Dome.
Glass vs Plastic vs Metal
I've been using a glass 375ml flask, which is basically an empty Captain Morgan or Bacardi 375 ml flask size that they sell in liquor stores. Its cheap, disposable, and I wouldnt feel bad if it got broken or confiscated. That being said, its glass, and the last time I check the Carrier Dome is pretty much made of concrete. One false move, and youve got glass shards, pissed off fans in front of you, and worst of all - your booze is gone - unless you want to desperately suck it off the pristine Dome floor in some Homer Simpson-esque fashion.
So, even though I usually bring glass, a plastic one is probably a much safer bet. Its not staying in there long, so I wouldnt worry about it getting that plasitcy aftertaste.
That nice metal flask you got as your consolation prize for being best man in your buddies wedding? Eh, Id leave that one at home for this purpose. Also, the metal flasks tend to pour with a bit of difficulty, so making your clandestine mixer is that much more difficult. Don't get me wrong, I'm not shitting on a nice metal flask, but for these purposes, you might want to leave those at home. The worst is getting something nice confiscated.
For instance, MarshallSt mentioned the Tops Market by the campus carries 2 5oz flasks and a funnel in the soda aisle for about 5 bucks. Not a bad option at all, in the future I may just get those. If youre an ESF student or just an Earth-friendly hippie type, try one of these from eBay:
Its up to you, but you've definitely got some choices. Like Indy in the Last Crusade, do not choose poorly. We know how that ends up.
Squares and Narcs
They're everywhere. People with kids who just want to "enjoy the game" or overzealous types that get off on being right all the time. You know, assholes. To be honest, I've had very little trouble, or any more than a disapproving look if people even notice I'm making a mixer. I reciprocate their trust with not getting out of control. But all the same, do it under your jacket or below the sight line of the crowd, by your feet.
Always on the lookout for people having too much fun. Waiting to bring down the fascist fist-hammer of justice on anyone's good time. No, seriously, they are the last line of defense for people getting out of control, know they are outnumbered greatly, and are just trying to make sure some basic rules are observed, people find their seats, and no one throws up on Doug Marrone. It's a monumental task. So help them out, and keep it as discrete as possible. Help out them and yourself, and try to keep it under wraps. For how I do this, see the How I Roll section below.
Whats Your Poison?
Scotch, Rum, Vodka, Whisky! All are solid choices for your drinking game-time pleasure. That's a matter of personal taste. I saw a recommendation for Bacardi 151. That's hardcore, but its a good time if you have a group of people you want to inebriate. Im a rum guy, but Ive been known to bring whiskey and scotch. Personally, I like making mixers with a large soda from the concession stand. Im going there anyways for my nachos, so I just get a large diet at the same time.
How I Roll
I purchase a handle, 1.75L of booze from one of the many fine liquor stores in the area, pour in flask before game. I usually get some rotgut or "well" brand, because I like making mixers, and I'm a cheap bastard. My go-to handles at the liquor store are all under 20 bucks. I will typically get Admiral Nelson spiced rum (he's an admiral, so he pulls rank over the Cap'n) or Evan Williams whiskey, a Jack Daniels knock off. But go ahead and use Grey Goose or Makers Mark if you want, you rich bastard.
Fact: Tipping a flask constantly is sure to draw some attention. If you want to, go ahead, but probably not the best idea. If it is your want as it is mine, make a mixer with one of the many fine beverages from the concessions. Even if I pay for two $5.00 dollar collector-cup Pepsi's, its still better than the $30-40 I'd otherwise have to spend on beer to get the same buzz. And I can walk right out at the end if I have any left!
Step 1: Drink some of your drink. You need elbow room for booze in there.
Step 2: Secure the flask in your coat or fold up your front shirt, unscrew your flask, and while the cup is on the ground in front of you or held by a buddy, pour your sweet sweet booze into your drink, forever mindful of the crowd around you.
Alternate Step 2: (Courtesy of DeSoto) Go the bathroom with your booze and drink find a stall, mix in there. As long as you dont have any hangups about the turd germs or free floating pee particales that may accumulate in your drink, probably 100% the safest way to make your mixer
Step 3: Enjoy that clandestine drink!
So good luck everyone, and I look forward to seeing you at some home games this year. Pinker. Out.