Yeah, that headline wasn't my best effort. Whatever. At least I didn't made a potato famine joke. Et tu, Leland Stanford Junior University Marching Band?
Yeah, you with the beer, uneven sunburn, and glassy eyes. Yes, I'm talking to you. I know it's Mayfest and that you're busy putting together your plan for getting bailed out of jail after getting clipped for hitting golf balls from the top of Ernie Davis Hall onto Kimmel. Here's the thing, though: You need to get your drunk ass over to the Carrier Dome to give Notre Dame hell.
Yes, like, now. Well, not right now. Actually, you need to get there by 7:00 tomorrow. Yes, 7:00 at night, stupid. What the hell have you been drinking, turpentine? Get your head straight, son.
The Irish are walking into the Mayfest war zone tomorrow to try and take the 2011 Big East title away from Syracuse. This is obviously an attempt at the throne and all such attempts are dealt with in the same manner: WITH EXTREME PREJUDICE!
I'm not sure that there's a whole bunch to say about this Notre Dame lacrosse team that hasn't been written before:
- What they do is incredibly boring but they execute it better than anyone in the land.
- The Irish defense probably in the top-two in the country and they rely on it heavily to win games.
- Their students vomit narcissism.
- They hail from a city that makes Cleveland look like a regular utopia.
- If I only had $15 to my name, I'd buy a bucket of paint thinner and render Touchdown Jesus abstract.
- Billy Edelin still owns Chris Thomas. Greg Robinson still owns Charlie Weis.
- "Courting" in Indiana involves a man, a woman, and the most adorable farm foreclosure proceeding you've ever seen.
Where was I? Oh, yeah. Notre Dame lacrosse:
|Offensive Clearing Percentage||89.71%||6||82.60%|
|Defensive Clearing Percentage||85.19%||46||82.57%|
|Adjusted Offensive Efficiency||32.63||10||28.20|
|Adjusted Defensive Efficiency||18.95||1||27.90|
|Adjusted Efficiency Margin||13.68||2||0.3015|
|Offensive Effective Shooting Percentage||28.48%||30||28.84%|
|Defensive Effective Shooting Percentage||20.63%||1||28.84%|
|Offensive Assist Rate||15.64||31||15.44|
|Defensive Assist Rate||10.54||2||15.34|
|EMO Per Offensive Possession||0.10||45||0.11|
|EMO Per Defensive Possession||0.07||2||0.11|
|Team Penalties Per Possession||0.04||1||0.06|
|Opponent Penalties Per Possession||0.05||47||0.06|
|Team Saves Per Possession||0.35||8||0.31|
|Opponent Saves Per Possession||0.34||48||0.31|
|Strength of Schedule: Efficiency Margin||2.26||11||0.18|
Some quick notes after the jump.
- This is a terrific defense. The Irish's defensive efficiency rate is through the roof and a big part of it is because of goalie John Kemp. Opponents are taking a moderate amount of shots against Notre Dame on each possession, but Kemp is stopping everything (look at the saves per possession rate). So, I'm not worried about Notre Dame taking the ball away from Syracuse; I'm worried about not getting the ball past Kemp. Kemp is the key for Notre Dame in ending defensive possessions.
- Look at Notre Dame's defensive assist rate. There will be no easy looks tomorrow. That has to be a big factor in Kemp stopping everything. You can attribute this to the Irish's bullshit defensive strategy of saggy zoney-man (if that's a thing) and keeping everyone between the hashes.
- There aren't going to be too many extra-man opportunities tomorrow. Notre Dame simply doesn't commit penalties and they rarely play man-down. Why? Because they're bitches. That's why.
- I'm not thrilled with Notre Dame's offense despite the efficiency. Here's what I see: Walk around for a bit; shoot it (but make sure it won't be saved); hope it goes in; if it doesn't, go and back it up. Man, that sounds like boatloads of fun.
- We're going to be playing a slow one.
See you all out there. OR ELSE!