Ladies and Gentlemen,
I am proud to say that the Chipotle curse has died. Let that sink in if need be. You see, a curse is a lot like a virus; it emerges, kills souls and then disappears....only to mutate and re-emerge stronger than ever. The Chipotle Curse emerged in Syracuse, crushed our spirits and....moved on! How do I know this? Because I am a Curse-ologist (which is kind of like a virologist except I get paid the big bucks; Im loaded).
You need evidence? Well here you go... Let me start with an analogy. There was a virus discovered 60 or so years ago that was called Marburg. Marburg (also known as Green Monkey Disease) was a hemorrhagic fever. It emerged in Marburg, Germany; it killed; it vanished. And then....it mutated and re-emerged stronger than ever. Today, it's called Ebola. And let me just say, you dont want it.
The Chipotle Curse, like Marburg, disappeared. But it re-emerged....in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. And what is it called now? I present to you....QDOBA CURSE.
Something strange happened in a Qdoba in Milwaukee. A Marquette player by the name of Vander Blue was arrested for Assault and Battery because he beat up a fellow Marquette student (hey, btw, thanks Vander! We dont care for those cheesedicks either). Why did he beat this kid up? Because the kid called Vander Blue "Vander Orange." This event didnt happen because it was a full moon; it happened because of the new Qdoba Curse. Interesting...out of all the colors the kid could have picked to substitute for Blue, he picked ORANGE. Hmmmm.
Dont believe me?
On a side note: Assuming Marquette comes to the Dome next season, how about we give him a nice reminder? Instead of Let's Go Orange......we can yell..."Van-der Orange. In fact, the syllables are the same! That's easy.
Good luck trying to shake the Qdoba curse, Marquette. It might be strong enough to send you back to
HELL Conference USA....or wherever you came from.