Look, your Dad does a good job. He played catch with you when he had the time. He has multiple nicknames for you and keeps them on rotation to keep things fresh, slugger. He has brought home the proverbial bacon and, when asked, the literal bacon as well. When your mom told him to give you "the talk," he just made a pact with you that you'd both pretend like you did and that was cool. There was that time he gave you $20 for no reason and when you asked for the reason he said, "Just because, now go have some fun, killer." And you're pretty sure that, before he was your Dad, he killed a guy in Tuscon with a tire iron. You can't prove it but you've got your hunches.
All things considered, he's been a solid B+.
So that's why it's tough to have to be the one to tell you but compared to Jim Boeheim, your Dad is crap. And don't think no one is watching. There is a Council that watches over all Fathers and judges them from on high. That Council has seen fit to name the ultimate Father of the Year and in a race between Jim Boeheim and your Dad, who do you think won?
The National Father’s Day Council today announced that it has selected Jim Boeheim, Syracuse University Men’s Basketball Coach, as a 2011 "Father of the Year" Award recipient. The awards will be presented at the 70th Annual Father of the Year Awards in New York City on Thursday, June 16, 2011. Mr. Boeheim joins Brendan Hoffman, President and CEO of Lord & Taylor, as a fellow 2011 "Father of the Year." The Committee expects to announce additional honorees in the coming weeks.
With proceeds benefitting Save The Children’s U.S. Programs, the awards luncheon will take place at 12:00 p.m. at the Sheraton New York Hotel.
Brendan Hoffman, CEO of Lord & Taylor, will also be honored. Last year's honorees included Phillips-Van Heusen Vice-Chairman Francis "Ken" Duane, Vornado Realty & Trust CEO & President Michael Fascitelli, and Yankee catcher Jorge Posada. This one again proves that, in order to truly be a great Father, you must be crazy rich. They are one and the same.