I fear an uprising is coming.

There is a fundamental difference of opinion on the SU coaching staff so strong, so potent, that is threatens to level our burgeoning empire into rubble. As we climb back up the mountain of success, there is a cavern just beneath the rock, ready to crumble and take us with it.

I am speaking of the opinion on statistics.

"Coach Marrone is big on statistics" - Derrell Smith

VS.

"Stats are for losers." - Scott Shafer

Now do you understand my concerns?

I've requested that these two warriors settle their differences the old fashioned way. We drop them both off an island with various weapons hidden all around it. We tell them we will return in 24 hours. If only one of them is left alive, we will take them back. If both of them are still alive, we will kill them both.

Pretty standard stuff, really. Instead, they opted to have a heart-to-heart discussion. I was able to photograph the conversation and I have transcribed it word-for-word after the jump. Sufficed to say, crisis averted.