UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE: Through your diligent efforts, Doug Marrone now is approaching 3000 total votes. Good job. The bad news? Doug Marrone has slipped from 4th place all the way out of the top 5 to #6 in total votes, sandwiched between Tom O'brien and Jim Tressel. Now I know what you're thinking WTF have those guys done to be sharing space with our HCDM? The best coaching decision O'brien made was to quit the BC job and that was YEARS ago. And Jim Tressel? What makes him so great? His sweater vests? PSSSHT!!! Eff off.****
Anyways, I realize that fan voters like us only count for 20% of the total. But for you students out there, let me throw a little math at ya. Would you skip class every Friday because it was ONLY 20% of the entire school week? Ok, terrible example. Well then, (assuming your last name isn't Collier) would you skip your final exam because it was ONLY worth 1/5***** of your final grade? DIDN'T THINK SO. Lets do this. Facebook bomb everyone you know. Blow up your friends geeky new smart phones. Dedicate at least one hour of your "study time" you actually spend going to flip night/wing night/happy hour/standing around in some random frat house with a can of
ice cold warm & skunked keystone amidst the 57 dudes and 3 fat chicks you don't even like anyways****** and instead spend it voting and re-voting for HCDM. C'mon, dudes, do some good in the world before you graduate and VOTE FOR HCDM!
And you - Mr. I'm-too-busy-because-I-have-a-real-job-but-still-stay-logged-to-TNIAAM-all-day-anways-guy******, yeah I'm talking to YOU! You have two choices and two only:
#1 - Pretend you're a UConn basketball player and steal a company laptop. Quit job. Go to starbucks and spend the next two weeks voting for HCDM. All day. Non-stop. (40 hours a week is for pu**ies anyways). Donate laptop to charity (hey, it's the holidays after all)
#2 - Okay, you may keep your job, IF AND ONLY IF you have access to a color printer. Make 1000 copies of this fanpost and distribute it to everyone you know (and don't know for that matter - complete strangers votes count too y'know). Email everyone on the corporate global email list the link to vote for HCDM. Then, once you've been fired, proceed to option #1.
Now for those who are out of a job during this holiday season, I take pity. But FEAR NOT. You can help too! All you have to do is head down to the local library, login to a computer and spend all day logged in and vote for HCDM. It'll make you feel good. And, as an added bonus, you'll get to piss off everyone around you all day long, which always feels good too. And you can explain that it's for a good cause and even though your unemployed, you still find time to give back to the community, and therefore it makes it all okay.
YOU CAN DO IT! GO YOU! GO ORANGE! and GO HCDM!!!
**** Yes, I left this entire update hotlinked on purpose for Mr. I'm-too-lazy-to-find-the-original-hotlink-guy******, who is also probably the same person as Mr. I'm-too-busy-because-I-have-a-real-job-but-still-stay-logged-to-TNIAAM-all-day-anways-guy******
***** That's the same as 20% for you non-poindexters - I told ya there was math in this didn't I? Also could be referred to as a fifth, but not the one you're thinking of/holding/just finished before class
****** I envy you
Before you say AN-Y-THING, yes, this is a re-post from Sean's post earlier this morning. Yes, I'm riding his coattails a little bit (ok, maybe a lot bit). And I'm also blatantly copying the guy who did it for JB last bball season (ryanwk628 I think?) by putting this as my signature. See that photo up there? No, believe me I did NOT go through the trouble of staging a fake press conference with HCDM and Doc Gross for a unique photo op. Actually I totally stole that sh-t from syracuse.com too. Why am I stooping this low to be unoriginal? Because HCDM deserves your vote. I voted 3x already today and will do the same tomorrow and the next day and the next day etc etc etc. I'm setting the example for you to follow. Now go forth and copy my actions. The truth is*, the more like me and thence unoriginal you are (see what I did there?), the better it is for everyone involved.
H/T to Sean, goober112 (for originally posting this link so many weeks ago), ryanwk628 and anyone else to who may feel like I'm TNIAAM-stalking them**.
Also, LOL and middle finger at the Big East. I'm SURE people meant to vote Charlie Strong and Randy Edsall in the top 10 for national COY but just forgot. Or maybe they were tied for 11th place and just missed. Either way, Way to go Big East a--holes!
C'mon Nuneseratti, lets do this sh-t! Di Di Mau*** motherf'ers!!!
* Not true
** I am
*** I stole that quote from a movie too. The Deer Hunter. WATCH IT and LOVE IT. Or not (spoiler alert - it has nothing to do with Syracuse). . . Like HCDM's fate. . .Its up to you.