Doug Marrone Is The Greatest Human Being In The History Of Earth

We like to keed with Bud Poliquin around these parts but to be fair, Bud just did the one thing no one else has been able to do in the last month. Find Syracuse football coach Doug Marrone.  Holed up in a secret bunker miles below the Rocky Mountains (assumed), Marrone has been fine-tuning his off-season plan to prepare for next season.  With the recent rash of rumors that he might be a candidate for the Tennessee job, Syracuse fans scoffed at the possibility while letting the notion creep into the back of their minds that maybe, just maybe, Doug isn't going to come through on what he's been saying.

Well Doug emerged from his hideaway for the briefest of moments to assure you, Syracuse fan, that anyone who thinks he might jump ship can go straight to hell.  In as many words.

"I don’t respond to the question. I hear it and I say, ‘Wait a minute. Haven’t you been listening to me since I got here? Come on. Do you realize what we’re trying to accomplish here?’ With everything I’ve said and with everybody knowing how I feel about this place, I don’t think I have to release any kind of statement."

"I won’t allow somebody to get that quote," said Doug, who served as the Vols’ tight ends/tackles coach in 2001. "I have a lot of friends and family in the state of Tennessee. That’s where my wife is from. So for me to come out and comment in any way on their program or their situation or my status . . . I’m just not going to do it. I’m not going to put a negative spin out there. That’s why I haven’t commented and that’s why I won’t comment."

Who's got two thumbs and is the greatest guy ever?  THIS GUY!!!

Marrone also made up for his lack of information-giving over the last four months by dropping several nugget bombs:

• The goal in 2010?  Bowl game.
• He continues to look for someone else to be offensive coordinator but considers the possibility that he might take that role as "an option."
• Marrone is aware of Casullo's dalliances with Cornell but hopes to have him back on staff.
• He expects Delone Carter back in an orange uniform in 2010.
• The West Coast offense, whatever that means these days, will be back.  Kinda.  Depending.  Whatever.
  

Of course, it wouldn't be a Bud article if there wasn't at least one strange or creepy notion...

"...a dozen or so recruits will be on campus this weekend and they’ll need to be romanced."

Yes, that's exactly how they do it....IN PRISON.