Keep Those Hands Where I Can See Them, Bud
by Sean Keeley on Jan 11, 2010 3:28 PM EST
Email
PrintAs part of the South Florida recap I posted some video interviews with the players. One specifically was a Bud Poliquin chat with Wes Johnson. Mcsteve asked the question as to whether or not anyone was creeped out by the touchy-feely nature of the interaction. So I went back and checked and...Bud is ALL hands in this one, let me tell you. Actually, let me show you.
Notify an adult, Wesley!
Yes, in case you're wondering, WWes Johnson has supplanted Greg Paulus as the object of Bud's affections.
Now, even though Johnson has been as consistent as a noon whistle -- even though he’s scored in double figures in every game but one (against Maine during which he played only 19 minutes) and has shot .500 or better in all but two (against Albany when he went 5-for-11 and South Florida when he went 6-for-14) -- there is a niggling beef with him.
Indeed, he’s just about as good as any player in the country, about as gifted as any athlete on any campus in the land. But on Sunday afternoon, with South Florida having been rolled out of the Dome, there was Wesley describing himself merely as a "glue guy" and that his primary goal is "to fill gaps for everybody." And, yeah, it was kind of like imagining a Lipizzaner stepping high while pulling a beer wagon.
Mmmm...niggling beef.
Wes does sound pretty awesome in the interview, I have to admit.
"I love it here," Johnson said Sunday afternoon at the Carrier Dome where he produced a ho-hum double-double of 19 points and 13 rebounds to lead Syracuse University to its 82-65 victory over overmatched and undermanned South Florida. "I couldn’t have dreamed this.
"Everybody’s smiling and everything. It’s fun. The fans love me. I love the town. I love my teammates. The guys believe in me. The coaches believe in me. There are no regrets. There’s no looking back. This is everything I could ever have wanted. Everything."
Hooray for everyone! Especially Scoop Jardine, who throws caution to the wind and expresses his true emotions over Wes. Not just a teammate, but a true love?
"I call Wes ‘Mr. Everything’," said Scoop Jardine, another Orange guard. "He gets rebounds. He blocks. He scores. He makes steals. And he’s unselfish. His whole thing is to make the team better. Like him? I don’t like Wes. I love him."
Doesn't that sound like the transcript of an infomercial? "Like The Snuggie? I don't like The Snuggie. I love the Snuggie!"
16 comments
|
0 recs |
Do you like this story?
Comments
Hate hate hate his writing.
Sounding like a broken record. God he is terrible
by brendoh on Jan 11, 2010 3:34 PM EST via mobile reply actions
Bud Poliquin has to be the world’s best terrible writer. The guy needs to cut the prose, he’s a journalist. I’m a creative writing major, and I think he’s a joke.
Syracuse '12
Agreed. I mean, I’m a Writing and Rhetoric major….he doesn’t appeal to his audience at all. He talks down to his readers. He ignores the conventions of sports journalism. He honestly writes like he’s trying to prove what a joke sports journalism can be if left unchecked…
The killer thing
is that he’s been getting away with this for YEARS. I’m talking since the mid 1980s. He should be commended for being this bad at his job for this long and not getting canned in an industry hemmoragging money. Just like when Baxter ate the whole wheel of cheese and pooped in the refrigerator, I’m not even mad – I’m amazed.
he would have nailed
william safire after a few stiff shots of hyperbole
by lemonysnicket9 on Jan 11, 2010 6:20 PM EST up reply actions
There's a fine line between folksy and creepy...
and Bud’s walking it every time he gently caresses Wes’ arm.
Yea, wow. What the hell does this have anything to do with ISU, Cuse, Wes, sports, etc.
“They’re no doubt very nice folks out there at Iowa State, but they’d likely drop a Ming vase, leave the water running in the tub and burn the roast. Send them across the street for a ham-on-rye and a Coke, and they’d probably come back with some egg salad and root beer. Give them a four-leaf clover and they’d almost certainly lose it.”
Trying to hit off me is like trying to eat soup with chopsticks.
-Ryohei Tanaka, with AA Bowie
Like I've said a million times on this board...
…Bud may be a weird writer, but he’s OUR weird writer. He’s as Syracuse as snowfall in May.
"(BARF)" - Donovan McNabb, during his game winning drive against Virginia Tech in 1998
There can be no doubt he's got performance accelerators!
I can only imagine what his last contract negotiation went like:
Editor: Bud, seeing that we’re in a terrible recession, in a dying industry, in a city that has long since perished except for the University and Two-bit Gangster community, we need to cut your salary next year, no if’s and’s or but’s.
Bud: How about we throw in some performance incentives then, just like a sports contract?
Editor: Maybe. What do you propose?
Bud: I envision myself perched atop the rolling green hills overlooking Oneida Lake, adorned by diamond encrusted chainmaille, the hope of the community reflecting in my sun-addressed eyes as they peer out over the green hills overlooking Oneida Lake, delicately sifting the essence of athletic prowess and sensuality embodied by the young men who represent us on across their bosoms as it wafts in the displaced air, out of balance by the trails of my hand but counterbalanced by the words I create as I direct my ink toward the tip of my pen, exploding out in such a profound way across the page of my little yellow memo pad…
Editor: So you’re saying we can tie your bonuses to readership and ad revenue?
Bud: I was thinking more like word count…
by TheRenegadePumpkin on Jan 11, 2010 5:43 PM EST reply actions 6 recs
I remember...
When I was a child – only 9 years old (so we’re talking 15 years ago) – I read one of his odd, folksy, useless columns and thought, “Never again. Never again will this man waste my time.” Ugh, I wish I kept that promise to my 9 year old self. Though, I don’t think I’ve ever made it though and entire article of his since then – it’s just too painful.
I’m pretty sure that over the years he developed a Bud Poliquin Mad Libs outline so he can just plug in words here and there and hand in his articles.
Being that he's a columnist
and not a typical reporter, I don’t mind that he doesn’t try to write with typical journalistic style.
What I do mind is that his attempts at cute prose just sounds so ridiculous. He’s awful. I wish he would get with the program, it’s 2010 not the 1950s. I don’t even understand most of the analogies he uses.
At least he didn’t call Wes a “Whiz-bang” though.
"And, yeah, it was kind of like imagining a Lipizzaner stepping high while pulling a beer wagon."
Bud just speaks to me, I get everything he says!
by KyleMcintoshStiffarm on Jan 12, 2010 9:11 AM EST reply actions
Comments For This Post Are Closed
Secondary Sidebar
User Tools
Related FanPosts on Troy Nunes Is An Absolute Magician
Related FanShots on Troy Nunes Is An Absolute Magician
FanPosts
Community blog posts and discussion.
Certain photos copyright © 2012 by Associated Press or Getty Images. Any commercial use or distribution without the express written consent of Associated Press and Getty Images is strictly prohibited.
