The Less We Know Of Greg, The Better

by Sean Keeley on Sep 21, 2009 1:54 PM EDT

There are times when you want to know your favorite athletes like they're your best friend. You want them to like the same things you like. You want to get inside their heads and know what makes them tick. You want that sense of kinship, like you're not just a fan, you're teammates.

Then, there are times you find out the inner workings of your team's star player and realize you were just better off not knowing.

In the future, September 28th to be exact, Greg Paulus will share with the world the answers to many in-depth questions about his personality, likes and dislikes. Somehow, through a tear in the space-time continuum perhaps, those answers are available to us now. Let's have a look...though I warn you...you won't like what you find.

Favorite book as a child?
Oh The Places You'll Go

So far so good. Apropos, even.

All-time favorite SU athlete?
Donovan McNabb

Again, good stuff.

Favorite building on campus?
Newhouse and Manley

Okay...question was for one (1) building. But, I know...you're new still. Still figuring some things out. Fine.

Favorite pro sports team?
Yankees and Colts

Oh boy. Sure you don't want to add the Cavaliers, Florida football, Red Wings and Brazil soccer to the list?

Favorite TV show character?
Jerry Seinfeld

What?!? Jerry Seinfeld? Over George? And even Elaine?

Favorite musical artist/group?
Rascal Flatts, Carrie Underwood, Keith Urban

Oh God, I need to sit down...

What is one thing you would do if you could trade places with Coach Marrone for a day?
I might want to go back in time with him and experience some of the experiences that he's had in the NFL.

Dammit, Greg, listen to the question! It's not "if you could go back in time with him," it's "if you could trade places with him!" No one said anything about time travel! We're in the here and now. Live for today, Greg! Isn't that what Rascal Flatts and Keith Urban are always singing about? Yes? I have no idea so I'm asking.

H/T: Jameson

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I hoped they would put him on the spot and say “favorite college basketball team” but realized he would say “Duke and SU”

2 Tickets to Lame-town.

by ryanwk628 on Sep 21, 2009 2:09 PM EDT reply actions

Who is your favorite college player of all time?

“J. J. Reddick”

The 'Cuse is in tha house, oh my God oh my God.

by StrawHatGuy on Sep 21, 2009 2:19 PM EDT reply actions

Depending on how you read his building answer, he actually said 4 (possible) buildings.

I mean, I’m assuming he meant Newhouse III, but maybe he meant the entire Newhouse complex.

by NOLACuse on Sep 21, 2009 3:47 PM EDT reply actions

Wait....just had a thought.

Maybe he was honestly answering the Marrone question. I mean, who are we to say HCDM and his thighs aren’t capable of time travel? Maybe Paulus knows about Doug’s time travel capabilities. If so, I would say time travel would definitely be on my list if I was Doug Marrone for a day.

by NOLACuse on Sep 21, 2009 3:50 PM EDT reply actions

He will go back in time

(maybe), by injecting instant coffee into HCDMs tremendous thighs and carefully placing him next to a microwave on hi.

I don’t think Greg Paulus deserves to travel in time because, for one, Duke taints, and two, he obviously sings Carrie Underwood songs (with sincerity) in his car when no one else is around. Automatic DQs, imo.

by lemonysnicket9 on Sep 21, 2009 5:57 PM EDT up reply actions

I, uh, think I’m going to go listen to music with Greg… We can’t watch sports together, though.

How’d you skip “Who would you trade places with for a day? Derek Jeter” and “Who is your hero? Derek Jeter”

Also
“Most memorable game played?
Duke-North Carolina game. Football it would be the last game when we won the state championship in the Carrier Dome.”

Oh? Which of the four times Carolina beat you in Cameron was your favorite?

by Orange22 on Sep 21, 2009 11:31 PM EDT reply actions