Donte Greene's Uncle Is The Scoop's Cousin Of 2009

You remember Scoop Jardine's cousin, don't you?  Robert Washington, the 40-year-old man who crashed with Scoop in his campus apartment and helped him procure cheesesteaks with the help of a stolen student ID card was our favorite (read: most non-favorite) SU basketball player relative of 2008. 

But now it's time to get to know Derrick Marcano, uncle to Donte Greene, who played for the Orange last season before leaving after his freshman season.  Seems as though Derrick was dipping into the company funds over at Ceruzzi Sports and Entertainment while Donte was at SU.  That's a bit of a sticky wicket considering Ceruzzi was trying to court Donte at the time (already illegal) and decided the best course of action would be to give Mr. Marcano a $50,000 line of credit in the meantime so that he would influence Donte to sign with them when the time was right.  Whoops.

(Side note, when I first heard this story broke I chuckled to myself and thought "oh I bet Yahoo! Sports broke it."  Sure enough, they did.  Seriously, Yahoo! Sports has the finest uncovering-agent-scams-in-college-sports journalism department in the world.  I'm pretty sure they have teams of people who just root through the garbage outside of university athletic centers all day.)

(Double side note, interesting that Wetzel breaks this story the day after Syracuse beats Seton Hall, the team he was profiling indefinitely for their run through the Big East Tournament.  Just saying...)

So we haven't gotten to the money quote yet, which is...

“The loan was more of a favor by the owner of Ceruzzi Sports,” Marcano said. “I told them what my needs were and they offered their help.

“So it really had nothing to do with the basketball side of things,” he continued. “I never intended it to be a benefit for Donte. It really was for me and my family to continue my direction in my entrepreneurship.”

LOL!  Had NOTHING to do with Donte.  NOTHING!  Obviously.  Derrick is an entrepreneur, folks.  For all we know, he used that money to start the Snuggie empire.  So don't judge.  This was legit.  Clearly.  I'm sure the folks over at Ceruzzi will cooberate the story:

“It was done because [Marcano] needed the money and we thought he was a person of influence [in Greene’s decision to choose an agent],” said Charles Grantham, the CEO of Ceruzzi Sports.

Oops.  Wait, so the guy who runs the agency just openly admitted that they tried to buy Donte Greene's favor while he was in college?  Doesn't that mean they're going to jail now?  Or at least losing their license?  Whatever kind of license one gets for doing whatever it is that they do...  Am I crazy?

And what the hell is Syracuse University probing?  Dude just admitted it!!!!  Probe over.  Time to de-probe.  The post-probing process can begin.  I mean, the only thing you need to make sure of is that Boeheim and his staff didn't know and, um, WHY WOULD THEY KNOW?  Wouldn't Boeheim want to keep Donte at SU instead of seeing him go pro after one season?  Wouldn't Boeheim want to keep Donte from ending up in Reno in the foreseeable future? 

Mike Waters asked Jim the obvious questions and Jim gave him the obvious answers:

"I don't think Donte knew anything about it from what I know. Trying to keep track of it, trying to make sure we check with him all the time. He said, I don't listen to him, I don't know anything. And when he went to pick agents he didn't go with anybody they are talking about now.

That's the really hilarious part.  Donte didn't even go with Ceruzzi.  $50 grand down the drain so Derrick Marcano's "entrepreneurial ventures" could be carried out.  Agenting sounds awesome.