The Dark Lord Not Done With Syracuse Football Just Yet

SYRACUSE, NY - News that Syracuse football's star player, Arthur Jones, will be out indefinitely with a torn pectoral muscle, was a reminder by Satan to all members of the Syracuse football community that payment for their pact with the him is still ongoing, sources said today.

"Just because the deal was signed in red blood...luscious red blood, doesn't mean it's not binding for the Orange," said Satan, Angel of the Bottomless Pit, on Wednesday.

The original deal, signed in blood on November 26th, 2004 before the Syracuse - Boston College game, is in perpetuity according to those with access to the document.  The deal was signed by then-head coach Paul Pasqualoni who felt it was the only  course of action to reverse the declining trend of Syracuse football and ensure his own job security.

The deal called for Syracuse to defeat Boston College, which would qualify them for a bowl game, which they would then play in December.  Syracuse did in fact defeat Boston College the following day in a surprise 43-17 victory, propelling the team to the Champs Sports Bowl where they were summarily defeated 51-14 by Georgia Tech.  Pasqualoni was fired not long after.

"I probably should have been more specific," said Paul Pasqualoni from his office in Miami.

"Leviathan and I spoke at great lengths about how a Boston College win would begat a bowl berth, and a bowl berth would begat a victory, a contract extension and then the revival of SU football," continued Pasqualoni.  "But when it came time to draft up the contract, he only included the part about beating BC.  That Beelzebub...he's a quick one.  Oh well.  Wouldn't trust him around my grandkids, I'll tell you that."

As part of the contract, Satan, Great Deceiver and Ruler of Demons, not only received Pasqualoni's soul but also the soul of Syracuse football.  While he will wait until Pasqualoni's demise to inter his essence, Satan has already imbibed Syracuse's football program's soul, as evident by the Greg Robinson Era.

"I check in from time to time to make sure things are going unsmoothly," said The Wicked One from his cellphone.  "Break a running back's leg here, get a star receiver kicked out of school for cheating there.  I even bankrolled a hookah bar for a couple of the players, if you can believe it.  I like to mix it up, keep things interesting."

The Son of Perdition takes full responsibility for Syracuse football's latest woe as well.

"This Marrone kid, I like him, lots of chutzpah.  But I figured it was time he got a taste of what's coming."

Syracuse Director of Athletics DOCTOR Daryl Gross commented on the situation by saying that, although he doesn't agree with the situation, SU must comply fully.

"One one hand, he's robbed our university, fanbase and alumni of ever enjoying an autumn football season ever again," said Gross.  "On the other hand, he's the lead doner on the brand new Greg Robinson Football Museum that will be erected in 2012 to commemorate the last four years."

Gross added, "His naming, not mine."

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