We noted earlier this year that Akron has dismissed starting quarterback Chris Jacquemain from the team for a violation of team policy (which we came to learn stemmed from a fight).  It was a crushing blow for the Zips considering Jacquemain was a senior and had tons of experience.

Turns out, this was simply the beginning of Akron's woes this season:

Afterwards, sophmore Matt Rodgers took over the reigns only to suffer an ACL tear on October 10th. This now leaves the offense in the hands of freshman Patrick Nicely. His backups are fellow freshman Jared Wackerly and Student Coach Tim Zetts. Zetts played for the Zip's in 2005 before transferring to Saginaw Valley State. He was injuried at SVS has one semester remaining on his eligibilty. Finally, it was reported yesterday that senior reciever Deryn Bowser would be out with a broken leg and sophomore linebacker Aaron Williams would be out with a broken arm. Both are out for the season. All in all Akron is missing 13 scholarship players for the season. This is a nightmare if you are a fan of the Zip's.

Luckily, there is no such thing as a fan of Akron football.

So, down to the scraps at the quarterback position and coming up against the vaunted, stout defense of Syracuse, Akron did about the only thing they could think of.  They took out an ad for someone, anyone, to play quarterback for them in the student paper.

My fear?  That during warm-ups, Andrew Robinson emerges from the locker room like he normally would, walks over to Greg Paulus to shake his hand, hits him over the head with a chair, rips off his Syracuse jersey to reveal an Akron jersey and begins taunting the Syracuse Orange from the other side of the field with his new manager, Professor Death.

This is my fear.

H/T: Thunder Treats & Hot Clicks