An Open Letter To Boston College From Syracuse, West Virginia, Pittsburgh And Rutgers

by NunesMagician on Jan 7, 2009 12:12 PM EST Comment 8 comments

Dear Boston College,

We're sorry to hear your program is in disarray again. It's times like these we all need someone to lean on. Longtime friends who came up with us, know us better than anyone else and are geographically nearby and can be there quickly.

We miss ya buddy. If we were an Eastern Pennsylvania beet farmer/inn-keeper/mid-level paper supply company salesman and you were an Eastern Pennsylvania smart-aleck mid-level paper supply company salesman with an unhealthy crush on an engaged woman, this is exactly how we'd feel:

Sincerely,

Your former conference mates.

P.S. - You suck.

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We should target this kid:

Dillon Quinn: DT, 6’-6" 295 From Pawling NY

Thats an athletic 295 and hes the only one on the list from NY

by ryanwk628 on Jan 7, 2009 1:25 PM EST reply actions 0 recs

PICK YOUR HEAD UP!

by NunesMagician on Jan 7, 2009 2:04 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs

BC

Can eat a dick. After the way they did the Big East dirty – and in way more underhanded fashion than the Va Tech/Miami defections – BC can rot in hell for all I care. There was nothing sweeter than watching our “overmanned” ’Cuse team roll into BC with Diamond Ferri leading the way in 2004, and beating the shit out of those pretentious jagoffs, thus denying them the Big East crown outright.

If BC played Penn State in football, I’d root for Penn State. There, I said it.

"(BARF)" - Donovan McNabb, during his game winning drive against Virginia Tech in 1998

by kotite4ever on Jan 7, 2009 5:35 PM EST reply actions 0 recs

What if the BC football team played the Duke basketball team?

Or the G’town basketball team?

In respective order, who would you root for then? Just want to explore how deep this BC football hatred goes.

And while we’ve got you on the hot seat, what would happen if the BC football team played a game of flag football against a 2’ tall Mike Ditka? Would Ditka beat them so badly that the team would be forced down to Div I-AA or just badly enough that the soon-to-be-fired coach would make the BC team wear pink uniforms the whole rest of the year?

by voteprime on Jan 7, 2009 6:09 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs

Sub-question

Is the 2’ tall Mike Ditka from 1985 or from 2009?

by NunesMagician on Jan 7, 2009 6:43 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs

I'm gonna twist it up a bit and say:

His mind is from 1985. But his body is from 2009.

by voteprime on Jan 8, 2009 1:57 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs

That's easy

Da Bears

But in all seriousness, I probably hate BC football more than Duke basketball or Georgetown basketball, only because I’m a bigger college football fan than basketball fan. However, if it were possible to for all of them to play each other in some bizarre, cross-sport, round-robin tournament, and the building would be packed with their fans in a game called by Dick Vitale and Billy Packer, then I would probably just root for the detonation of some kind of thermonuclear warhead at the venue.

Hope that answers your question.

"(BARF)" - Donovan McNabb, during his game winning drive against Virginia Tech in 1998

by kotite4ever on Jan 8, 2009 9:14 AM EST reply actions 0 recs

I think that is exactly what I was looking for.

By the way, should this bizarre situation arise, this ‘Nuke It’ map thingy should tell you just the proper power of explosive you’ll need to make sure everyone and everything is completely wiped off the face of the earth.

by voteprime on Jan 8, 2009 2:02 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs