Providence Still Plays Basketball???

When I was a little kid, my uncle used to refer to Dunkin' Donuts as Dunkin' Dognuts.  That killed me every time.

I'll be honest with you, I'm even smiling right now.  It's gold, Jerry.

I say this for no reason other than that the Providence Friars play in the Dunkin' Donuts Center, excuse me, The Dunk (oy).  And the Orange will be playing the Friars there on January 28th.  And apparently, they don't like us very much.

Underneath all the accolades, championships, and achievements, there is a dark shadow that has been cast on Syracuse with Jim Boeheim as coach.

That's not Jim Boeheim, that's the lake effect.  I'll have someone explain it to you sometime...cause I can't.

The only thing to trump such rap sheets are these players' stat sheets. Devendorf is a solid shooting threat and court leader for the Orange and has been named to All-Big East teams in the past; Flynn was co-Rookie of the Year in the Big East last season; Jardine and Jackson are reliable scorers that can start or play off the bench. Throw in a punk like Paul Harris (who repeatedly made boasting gestures to and threw his headband at the student crowd the last time SU played at the Dunk) and you have five players who put up a combined 60 points a game for the Orange.

Sir, I have met Paul Harris.  Okay, I haven't ACTUALLY met Paul Harris.  But I have paid close attention to him.  He is without a doubt the greatest human being to ever walk God's green Earth and he is a bastion of hope and triumph the likes of which Providence shall never understand, nor shall you drinketh from his cup, which runneth other.  And so on and so forth. 

If Paul Harris deemed it necessary to throw his headband into your student section, I would have to assume he had a perfectly sound and logical reason for doing so.  I'm unaware of the admissions policies of Providence University College but if the quality of local student is akin to the types I see on the TV show Brotherhood, then I think I know everything I need to know. 

Perhaps one of these students haphazardly handled a cup of Dunkin' Donuts coffee during the game.  As it spilled onto said student's lap, Paul Harris acted quickly and selflessly, by throwing his headband with reckless abandon and without reservation as to the sweat that would now sting his pristine eyeballs, into the crowd to act as a buffer between the poor, low SAT-scoring Providence student with bad motor skills and the free-falling coffee beverage. 

I have no doubt in my mind that Paul Harris saved a life that day.  You weep for your Providence student section, and you curse the Orange. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know. That Paul Harris' perceived taunts, while uncouth, probably saved lives. And Syracuse University's existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives. You don't want the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at Big East Media Days, you want Syracuse on that court, you NEED Syracuse on that court. We use words like G-Mac, zone defense and Jim F***ing Boeheim. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent going to Final Fours. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a fanbase who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very conference reputation that Syracuse provides, and then questions the manner in which we provide it. I would rather you just said thank you, and went on your way to the NIT, Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a basketball, recruit some star players, and get seeded in March. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to.

Now I call on you to continue a tradition that was started only two years ago for a game against the Syracuse Orange. The idea of a full black out was first utilized in March of 2007 when the Friars played SU on ESPN, and it was extremely effective. Ever since, I have asked students to BLACK OUT THE DUNK at every home game, and for the most part you have stepped up. I DEMAND that you BLACK OUT THE DUNK against Syracuse out of the sake of tradition and to create a ravenous, insane, and unmatched student section to make Syracuse regret ever stepping foot in Friartown!!

All due respect to the purveyor of Friar Blog, my college roommate Adam who hails from North Providence (and refused to alter his alligences in full to the Orange) and all Friar fans, but, bring on your little Black Out.  Sounds cute.  Makes it easier for Paul to find targets for his headband this time...

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