FanPost

Embarrassing Moments from my Alma Mater

There comes a time in every man's life where he has to confront the shortcomings of the institutions in which he entrusted his life... especially for men who choose rather obscure institutions.

For example, when I moved back to Syracuse midway through high school in the late 90's, I had to decide whether to attend F-M (with no hockey team) and tryout for Juniors, or CBA (with an embarassing hockey team) and try to backstop them to glory (we finished 1-23 that year, although as a goalie it was fun to average >50 shots against per game).  This prepared me for a life of college hockey... club hockey, that is.

 

In another example, when I abandoned the Catholic Church for Jainism, I immediately had to stop taking wifey out to steak dinners at Capital Grille, Ruth's Chris, and KO Prime.  She subsequently withheld slappy pickle time, which I'm pretty sure was against my religion, anyway.  I also had to stop pulling weeds in the yard, which was fine, but caused a disastrous overgrowth resulting in my next door neighbor's three year old wandering for 36 hours undiscovered... nearly resulting in a missing person's report.


Such was the case again in the waning hours of last night when I perused ESPN.com for a recap of the day's action and activities.  On the right hand side, I came across an article stating "Lowly N.J. Tech Snaps 51 Game Skid."


This immediately captured my attention, as I firmly hold I am not a complete absence of hope.  Therefore, anything that shows even the most futile of people in the most dismissible corners of society can MAKE it, can WIN, can achieve GLORY; it really resonates as a promise of a better tomorrow.


Per usual, my ebbing wake of visceral optimism rolled away to the silky part of the sea, as the vessel of my consciousness realized that lowly NJIT snapped their two-year losing streak against my alma mater.  Ironically enough, NJIT held Bryant to 51 points, synchronous with the number to which they held their historic losing streak.  It's pathetic, really, that I continue to support such mediocrity with my annual $25 pledge.  Or, maybe it's fitting.  At the very least, I'm supporting the meek, who I once believed shall inherit the earth.  In this case, NJIT inherits their first win in many moon, all thanks to my harrowingly frugal financial support to an even more piteous program than they.


Thank you, ESPN.com, for bringing forth a message from the collective subconscious reminding me that, before I shut my eyes and explore the abstract underpinnings of the universe for another night, I can rest assured knowing everything is in order and my life choices continue to haunt me like trees lining the crumbling path of failure on which I progress to my inevitable, pitiful demise.


So, anyone have similar stories of public gaffes by their Alma Mater?

X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

Join Troy Nunes Is An Absolute Magician

You must be a member of Troy Nunes Is An Absolute Magician to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Troy Nunes Is An Absolute Magician. You should read them.

Join Troy Nunes Is An Absolute Magician

You must be a member of Troy Nunes Is An Absolute Magician to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Troy Nunes Is An Absolute Magician. You should read them.

Spinner.vc97ec6e

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9347_tracker