FanPost

Sour Grapes Make Great Whine

I'm sorry, I cannot watch Pittsburgh play.

It is the ugliest, most boring 40 minutes of basketball ever.  Well, it's not even basketball; it's some basketball-like residue.  Pittsburgh doesn't adopt a style of play per se, but rather inflicts its opponents with cancer until they suffer a slow painful death.

Granted, it looks like basketball.  Pittsburgh has uniforms and everything.  It's just not hoops.  It's just "Pittsburghing" and I can't fucking stand it.

40 minutes of "clutch and grab."  40 minutes of "chuck the ball at the hoop and go get the rebound and hope for a layup."  40 minutes of "send four guys to the glass on both ends of the floor."  It sucks and I cannot believe that anyone would pay to watch Pittsburgh play 30 times a year.  It's "Peach Basket" basketball; the only thing that would make it tolerable would be men with hats sitting in the stands smoking cigars.

The worst part of the whole thing is that its not even throwback Big East hoops.  It's physical, sure, but it's without the connected finesse.  Georgetown used to beat its opponents into submission, but there was a hint of pizzazz.  Pittsburgh totally lacks that.  It's just punch-you-in-the-face hoops.  It makes me want to take a cyanide pill.

I know that Dixon is a Howland disciple, but you cannot even draw a comparison bertween Howland's style at UCLA and what Dixon is throwing on the floor.  The Bruins are a defensive menace, but at least they like transition and have offensive finesse.  Pittsburgh deviates from that and instead chooses to adopt a "Monkey Fucking a Football" mentality.  It gets the job done, but it is not watchable.

Just my $0.02.