This Is All Pete Carroll's Fault

by Sean Keeley on Sep 25, 2008 5:55 PM EDT

Think about it...

If Pete Carroll doesn't turn USC in the best program in the country, DOCTOR Daryl Gross' claim that he's the guy who hired Carroll doesn't mean anything.

If that claim doesn't mean anything then Gross doesn't get nearly as much credit as he gets for his time as Assistant AD there.

If he doesn't get all that credit, he doesn't get hired as AD of Syracuse.

If he doesn't get hired as AD of Syracuse, he doesn't hire Greg Robinson...on the advice of PETE CARROLL.

Quick, someone do some research. What did Syracuse ever do to Pete Carroll to warrant his now-decade long vengeance plan that went into effect the day he was hired at USC? If my calculations are correct, the upcoming football series between SU and USC will be the final piece of the puzzle as USC will attempt to break the record for most points scored in a game against us, causing the entire program and the University to fold unto itself. Cumberland College will finally rest easy.

Pete Carroll is part Benjamin Linus and part bad-guy-in-Oldboy:

Whatever it is we did to deserve this, we've paid for our sins and then some. Make it stop, Pete Carroll. You win.

(If you haven't seen Oldboy yet, you're dead to me. Netflix it. NOW. And don't give me that "I don't watch movies with subtitles" bullcrap. You're better than that.)

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