Go Back To The Directions You Came From

Northwestern, now that we're getting to know each other better, we wanted to let you know something.

We don't like you.

Last year when you beat us 10-7 in the Women's Lacrosse regular season and 14-9 in the NCAA quarterfinals en route to your third straight National Title, we were cool with it.


Then earlier this year when you beat us 19-7 in the Carrier Dome back in March, we thought it was a little much. I mean, you've got three titles, we let you beat us a couple times...can someone else have a go?


And now, here we are again. This time it's the Final Four. We're moving on, feeling good about ourselves, anxious about the possibilities. And then you show up. Are you kidding me? Why didn't you take our advice and just take it easy this spring. Go on Spring Break for once. Let loose. Put down the sticks and have a Mai-Tai or something. There's tons of schools playing women's lacrosse and only one Division 1 championship. Spread the love.

Okay fine, you've forced our hand. We're letting Katie Rowan loose. We were going to make her play the rest of the tournament with one arm tied behind her back, you know, to make things sporting. But since it's you, you'll get no such courtesy from us. That's right, THAT Katie Rowan. The one whose broken every record in Women's Lacrosse including Most Records Broken in Women's Lacrosse in One Year.

And she's a junior. Do you understand this? Assuming she doesn't leave early to go play in the National Women's Lacrosse League (Go Nashville Stixx Go!), she's coming back. And if you try to beat us this time, it's only gonna piss her off even more. Ever given up thrity goals to one player? Not yet? Just wait...

So go ahead Northwestern, play your "A" game. Just try to beat us. Please. You want Katie Rowan angry, be my guest. You wouldn't like her when she's angry, but that's your problem now, not ours. We're done drugging her and keeping her sedated during games in order to ensure no one is killed in the melee. We're letting her loose and may God have mercy on your souls tomorrow. You're gonna need it.

Had we drugged Katie like we normally do, I would have predicted Syracuse 14, Northwestern 13.

Now? Syracuse
∞, Northwestern -4



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