Mitch Taylor: Something strange happened to me this morning.
Chris Knight: Was it a dream where you see yourself standing in sort of sun-god robes on a pyramid with a thousand naked women screaming and throwing little pickles at you?
Mitch Taylor: No.
Chris Knight: Why am I the only person that has that dream?

The dream for the Syracuse Orange this season is to get back to a bowl game. Question is, how realistic is it? Coming off 1-10 and 4-8 seasons, the Orange have not made it easy for themselves schedule-wise. Games at Iowa, Louisville and Pittsburgh as well as home games with West Virginia, Rutgers and South Florida seem like likely losses. That means the Orange will likely have to win out against Washington, Illinois, Miami (OH), Buffalo, UConn and Cincy for a 6-6 record and bowl eligibility. All of that just for a shot to play in a bowl game in a place that makes Syracuse seem like Orlando. We'll keep dreaming but we'll know pretty quickly if The Quest For Toronto is a reality.

Professor Hathaway: You know, when I first brought you into this school I thought you'd become another Einstein. And you were well on your way. And then?
Chris Knight: I got a haircut.
Professor Hathaway: You're disappointing me, Chris.
Chris Knight: And you, me Jerry.

Might as well be a conversation between Pittsburgh and Syracuse. Both were expected to become part of the conference elite after Miami, Virginia Tech and those Boston Gamblers left the Big East. While both have shown flashes of brilliance at times, both have disappointed when it mattered most (poor bowl appearances, losing seasons) and are both in the process of being replaced by Rutgers and South Florida as the "evolution" of the conference. Two members of the "old guard" that both need to get back to their winning ways before they find themselves as the annual homecoming game schedulee for a long time.

Chris Knight: This? This is ice. This is what happens to water when it gets too cold. This? This is Kent. This is what happens to people when they get too sexually frustrated.

Speaking of some frustrated people (although I'm not getting into the sexual part...yet), there are a couple Big East coaches on the hot seat this season. Dave Wannstedt (2 years, 11-12, 0 bowls) inherited a team coming off a Fiesta Bowl appearance (albeit a shaky one at best) and brought with him the mighty expectations one would expect to come with an NFL coach with his experience. His inability to have a winning season so far has stoked the fire that will only get hotter if Pittsburgh doesn't compete for #3 in the conference this season.

You would think UConn's Randy Edsall (8 years, 41-51, 1 bowl) has his job intact, he being the one who guided the Huskies from Division 1-AA to Division 1-A pushover to bowl team in less than a decade. But his own success might have been his undoing. After back-to-back winning seasons, Edsall has suffered through back-to-back losing seasons. In a time when any team in the conference can make a legitmate run, the clamor for improvement is getting louder and louder in Storrs. Another bottom of the barrel season might be it for Randy.

Syracuse's Greg Robinson (2 season, 5-18, 0 bowls) isn't in danger of losing his job at the moment, but if he doesn't at least show some improvement this season, he'll be public enemy #1 come this time next year in the Dome.

Kent: I'm gonna get you guys. Dr. Hathaway's gonna hear all about this. You know, you'll rue the day!
Chris Knight: "Rue the day?" Who talks like that?

For West Virginia, who's going to make everyone rue the day they wrote off the preseason National Title contender in 2006 after losses to Louisville and South Florida. The Mountaineers are poised to have the season everyone expected them to have last year, this year. With Rutgers and Louisville slightly down from last season, it shouldn't be too hard as long as they don't slip up along the way.

Chris Knight: Look at it this way. Considering the type of people you are and the environment you're in, you have to admit the strong possibility this may be the only chance you ever have in your entire lives... to have sex.

John, Ryan, Ryan, Ian, Ben, Rice, Niko, Adam and Jeremy, however you can parlay the fact that you're on the football team into getting some action (consentually, of course)...do it. I'm rooting for you. Orange Nation is rooting for you.

Chris Knight: Kent put his name on his license plate.
Mitch: My mother does that to my underwear.
Chris Knight: Your mother puts license plates in your underwear? How do you sit?

Speaking of strange clothing, will anyone be able to top 2006's entry into the college football pantheon of great t-shirt slogans?

Likely not...but finger's crossed.

Prof Hathaway: We're different than most people, Mitch. Better.

To the top class of 2007 athletes in the Big East. The names you'll be hearing come All-conference selection time and possible for even shinier hardware. West Virginia's RB Steve Slaton, QB Pat White and SS Eric Wicks, Louisville's QB Brian Brohm, Rutger's QB Mike Teel and RB Ray Rice and DT Eric Foster, South Florida's QB Matt Grothe, Syracuse's DL Jameel McCleen.

Chris Knight: First, you have to get even with Kent. It's a moral imperative.

There's a few games on the conference schedule that represent prime revenge opportunities.

1. Louisville at Rutgers, Thursday 11/29
Louisville wants to prove it’s still a Top 2, not a Top 3 in the Big East

2. Louisville at West Virginia, Thursday 11/8
In what has become the annual Big East Game of the Year, West Virginia wants back its title

3. Cincinnati at Rutgers, Saturday, 10/6
Rutgers might have been playing in the Orange Bowl last year if not for this letdown loss

4. West Virginia at Rutgers, Saturday, 10/27
Again, Rutgers might have been playing in the Orange Bowl last year if not for this letdown loss

5. West Virginia at South Florida, Friday 9/28
USF came into Morgantownst1:place> and shocked the Mountaineers last year. This year, West Virginia is ready.

6. Syracuse at Iowa, Saturday 9/8
SU had the nationally-ranked Hawkeyes primed for an upset before their vomit-inducing 7-down stand from inside the two-yard-line. Wouldn’t it be nice to finish what we started?

Kent: You're all just a bunch of degenerates!
Chris Knight: We are? What about that time I found you naked with that bowl of Jello?
Kent: You did not!
Chris Knight: This is true.
Kent: I was hot and I was hungry.

To the Preseason All-Degenerate Big East Team. Well, at least the offense is pretty solid. The defense is a work-in-progress but at least they're already working together.

Starting QB: Matt Grothe, USF
Stats: Serving alcohol to minors

Backup QB: Adam Benarik, WVU
Stats: DUI

RB: Mike Ford, USF
Stats: Driving without a license, driving with a suspended license, contempt of court

WR: Branden Mclean, UConn
Stats: Two seperate charges of breach of peace (aka fighting), both arrests within four days of each other