The meeting of the Octonion continues... (click here for Part I)
Rah Rah Shish Koom Bah!
Okay, I’ll start by saying that we’re coming off our first Big East championship and returning quarterback and Heisman hopeful Brian Brohm. Things are tempered by the loss of RB Michael Bush and the arrival of new coach Steve Kragthorpe.
Kragthorpe? Sounds like a bad guy from Conan The Barbarian.
Kneel before the mighty Kragthorpe!
Guys, he’s an accomplished coach from the
Excuse my imprudence but is that a Division III school or something?
Oh, okay, nevermind.
I was going to add them to our out-of-conference schedule...but if they’re Division 1-A…forget it.
We kick ass.
Can you be a little more specific.
A little cocky, no? How can you be so certain?
Cause I know all of you.
I heard that, asshole. We’ll see how that goes this year, trendy-boy.
What does that even mean?
Means we went 9-4 last year, Matt Grothe is about to be player of the year in the conference, we’re gonna whoop up on Auburn and we’re going to quietly win the Big East after Johnny Appleseed and PitinoLover69 over here beat each other up.
Did you know we went 8-5 last year?
Honestly, I don’t even remember you being in the conference. Did we play you?
The what bowl?
Did you get together with you friends and play a game in your backyard and call it a bowl? Cause there’s no such thing.
Yes there is!
Oh yeah? Where is it played?
Sure it is. Who did you play?
Aha! No such school!
Fine. Who did you play in your bowl game last year?
Panther, what do you have to say about Dave Wannstedt and the team?
Well Tyler Palko is gone, so-
It’s about time! That guy was there for like nine years.
Anyway…we’ve got a fairly easy schedule but we do play
You know what…
(sighs) and we have the Wannstache on our side.
Is it my turn?
It is now.
Well…Coach Calhoun has put together another splendid group of strapping men-
Husky, we’re not talking about men’s basketball.
Oh, sorry…well, Coach Auriemma has put together another splendid group of-
Husky, we’re not talking about women’s basketball either. We’re talking about football.
You’re talking about what-now?
Otto, please, make my day and tell me something coherent about your football team.
Well, Cardinal, since you asked so politely, I will share with you only what I know. The team is at a crossroads. Untested quarterback Andrew Robinson will have to prove himself to be the team’s leader and he will have to do so with the loss of our top running back, Delone Carter. The team quietly improved in some areas last season but the offense needs to make great stride this season if the team hopes to make it to a bowl. Early season games against
Um…thanks…Otto. That was very insightful.
Right. Okay, we’ll I think this year’s meeting of the Octonion has served its purpose.
What purpose was that?
Good luck to everyone this coming season!